Read this week’s excerpt from Bumping Into God Again, “The Face of God” here.
It’s not so difficult to talk about God being present when someone is healed. After all, God’s the one who fixes our brokenness, right? This is the god we especially like—the one who doesn’t allow the discomfort to continue, or who prevents the accident from happening—the one who makes things new.
But what about the wounds that don’t heal, not really? What do we do with those? How do we think about a god who does not fix us? How do we relate to such a god as that?
How do we relate to God when people we love continue in their addictions, their destructive relationships, their lingering illnesses? Of course we know that God doesn’t force people to get help or to change their ways. Does that mean that God cannot be present to people who are stuck?
What does God do with people who can’t seem to make the steps necessary to get help and healing? If we really can find God in all things, does that mean that we can find God in the life of someone who is bitter and unyielding?
Could it be that God is present, not only in the healing, but in the wounds? When we encounter someone who is angry and stuck in bad patterns, should we still expect to experience God somehow, right there?
Consider this: What if God is present to that bitter, stuck person through our stubborn love toward her? What if that person is waiting for someone like you or me to stick around long enough to identify and name God’s features that show up in her face, contorted as it may be by tragedy and inner turmoil?
I don’t believe that God gives us the wounds, but I do believe that God is with us in our woundedness. Sometimes God’s presence is disguised in the body of another person. I hope to be brave enough and generous enough for God to use my very human self in just this way.
For recipes and an excerpt from Fr. Dominic Grassi’s Bumping Into God in the Kitchen click on the tab at the top of the page.
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Why doesn’t God always heal? That’s such a difficult question. Mark Twain’s answer was that God sees what would happen if someone was healed and it would be worse than where the person is now. I once had a reflection about Thomas Merton (which I have already shared) that sometimes the time is not right to listen. And, sometimes that is the person’s mission in life – to use the illness to show love received.
The important thing is not to judge – including ourselves. I have an addiction to cigarettes. It is not that I was unaware of the dangers of smoking, the waste of money, the stinkiness, the bad example to young people, etc. I prayed to overcome it. I tried various methods at various times. I even confessed regularly. But, eventually, I did get lung cancer. It could also have been caused by a few years of using a powerful chemical to clean vigil lights which was not a smart thing to do either. Why did God not answer my prayers? Did I not listen to the Spirit who came to help me? I certainly tried to. When I finally come face to face and see how much a sinner I really am, I will know and be sorry. On the other hand, perhaps God allowed me to continue smoking so that my husband can feel he is taking care of me and that’s what will help him deal with his illness. We all have to die from something.
What goes wrong in a person’s brain, as in the story from ‘Bumping into God,’ that they cannot seem to reason? When the cancer was confusing me, I had a lot more sympathy with some people that I have worked with who just don’t seem to be able to learn, to remember how to do things, to use what they know to figure out what they don’t know. Just like the physical diseases like diabetes or MS or Parkinson’s or chronic back pain, this lack of reasoning, this addiction, are beyond the control of the individual. In fact, I read recently that ‘free will’ may not be possible because of the way the brain works.
I also remember reading a book about Spiritual Direction. The behavior was not as important as the will of the heart (not the mind). The Spiritual Director asked the directee if she didn’t have whatever behavior it was, would she try to get it back? What kind of behavior would she try to regain if she lost it? I think it was the same book that had the example of a prostitute who really, at the heart level, loved God and sought to do His Will. There were so many obstacles in her life – lack of education, lack of opportunity, years of habits to break – that she continued in her way of life even though she was doing the best she could to follow Jesus. So we cannot judge whether the person is rejecting God or God is not giving them the grace to change. Only God can judge.
One of my favorite quotes is this one:
Do not look forward in fear to the changes of life;
Rather look to them with full hope that as they arise,
God, whose very own you are, will lead you safely
through all things;
And when you cannot stand it, God will carry you
in His arms.
Do not fear what may happen tomorrow;
The same everlasting Father who cares for you today
will take care of you today and every day.
He will either shield you from suffering or will give you
unfailing strength to bear it.
Be at peace and put aside all anxious thoughts and
imaginations.
St. Francis de Sales
Especially this line: ‘He will either shield you from suffering or will give you
unfailing strength to bear it.’ We always pray to be shielded; we don’t pray for the strength to bear it!
Without growth and change, there would be no flowers or fall leaves. Are the dying flowers and leaves resentful of the change? Do we need to learn to live in the present moment wherever it is as being a God-filled moment? And, without growth and change, there would be no death. Do things grow and change in heaven or does it mean that there is no change at all because there is no more death? Or do we rejoice in growth and change instead of resisting it?