Sometimes the Christian journey is framed in terms of making a decision, a commitment, to follow Jesus and his way. But we don’t live strictly by decisions, acts of the will. We don’t just make up our mind and do a certain thing. A deeper part of the self must be involved when it comes to true conversion.
One of the more prevalent forms of evangelical teaching focuses upon giving intellectual assent to a set of statements, such as “I’m a sinner” and “Jesus died for my sins.” At times, conversion is presented as simply agreeing that certain statements are true and then saying a prayer to that effect.
But we don’t change our lives through a series of thoughts. And, really, so much of the spiritual life is beyond intellectual comprehension anyway. I might agree with every single statement you make about Jesus and Christianity, but those statements will not provide an adequate explanation for the more profound mysteries of life.
In order to follow Jesus (actually, in order to make any significant change), something fundamental in a person must shift. I believe that at our core we understand what is true—and it is there, deep within us, that true conversion happens. But how often do we really access that core of the self?
This is where desire comes into the picture. Before you or I experience conversion of the whole self, we must grapple with what we truly want. What are the deepest, truest desires in me? St. Ignatius believed—and I agree (along with many others in the Christian family)—that our deepest desires are actually God’s desires.
We are made in the image of God—we are designed to be divine, you might say. And so when we strip away all the superficial wants and whims, when we let go of cultural norms, layers of social expectation, and even our own emotional/mental habits, we can tap into what we really long for.
This is why many people don’t experience conversion until they’ve hit bottom. Life circumstances can strip us down to essentials pretty quickly, and often that’s when we can ask honestly, “Okay, what is really important to me? What are my true desires?”
Spend some time this week asking yourself the question: What do I really desire?
This post is a part of An Ignatian Prayer Adventure, Week 5.
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It appears from what I’ve learned that no matter what a person does whether they are president of a country or bank or housekeeper in a sleazy motel, if they do it with God in it then they fulfill God’s desire, ergo their own as well, of serving God. The president who oversees their holdings with the good of the people in mind serves God. The housekeeper who keeps deadly germs at bay and prevents illness serves ?God.
It is God who implants our deepest desires and doesn’t seem to care much unless he specifies it through vocational call whether we do head work or hands and foot work. He just wants us to love and serve him and our neighbour.
I note as well that if he wants any changes made along the way he finds a way to get the message to us. I’ve found a few on these sites for instance. He knows I read, see.
The ? is a typo and not intended. Oops.
Vinita, this is so true – conversion of the heart is essential to make any significant change in our lives. In order to follow Jesus, I believe we must first fall in love with Jesus and that results in conversion of the heart. I have “known” Jesus since I was a small child but it was intellectual knowledge; until I fell in love with Jesus and experienced conversion of the heart through various difficult experiences, I really didn’t know what it was to follow Jesus. As I have said previously, I am profoundly grateful to God for Saint Ignatius and the Spiritual Exercises and for these Loyola Press blogs as I have learned so much from thoses resources. Thank you for sharing your insights.
I agree. Beliefs really don’t get you there. I also think there is a misunderstanding in the belief “Jesus died for my sins.” Someone once said a better way to put it is that Jesus died because of human sin. A angry God punishing his Son for so that people can go to heaven makes no sense anymore. Conversion is the main issue. So while I agree that beliefs don’t get you there, I’d be mindful to examine your beliefs. So you believe that if not for Jesus than God would punish you and send you to hell? Who’d want to trust a God like that? Or do you believe that in Jesus, God’s love is revealed and because of our ego maybe we reject that love. So Jesus becomes our brother and shows us the path to transformation.
That’s a much harder question than it seems on the surface. I’ll enjoy contemplating it.
Eva
Conversion is an ongoing process. Layer upon layer. Everytime I hit a new layer the same tiring process has to happen again. Wrestling with myself. Just when I think I am there, a new obstacle pops up.
I find my Spiritual Director’s advice helpful at times like this: I can pray for the desire for the desire for the desire for the desire. I can’t find my deepest desire all in one go.
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