During August, I’ll focus on how Ignatian principles of spiritual growth are quite fitting for those of us in the second half of life. “Find Your Inner Iggy” is the title of a promotion Loyola Press had going on Facebook recently, and I really like the sound of that phrase—rather whimsical.
Establish a Habit of Reflection
Ignatius (OK, I’m going to call him Iggy) did not invent the idea of self-reflection, but he did make it a key mark of the Spiritual Exercises. After a certain prayer exercise, the retreatant reflects on what just happened. She looks back over the time she’s spent and notes (sometimes through journaling) how she felt, what thoughts occurred to her, what she sensed God saying to her, and so forth.
And in the daily Examen, another key prayer from St. Iggy, we are urged to look back over the day and reflect on what happened. By revisiting the day’s events and our actions and reactions, we can develop our ability to identify our true emotions, our habits of thought, feeling, or speech, and also to identify God’s grace in the midst of it all.
By the time we’re in the second half of life, we desperately need to be reflective people. By now we should be beyond merely reacting to what goes on around us. Also, in our more “mature” years, we do well to tackle our ugly habits and allow Christ to transform us. We should be able to look back over a day, or a year, or even a decade, and see our tendencies for what they are—and then change them if we don’t like what we see.
Do I tend to be controlling and manipulative? After establishing a habit of reflection, I should see where I fall into this unhealthy pattern. Once I see what I’m doing, I have the power to strategize a better way of behaving. Am I whiney, likely to take the victim role? Am I addicted to finding things to worry about? Do I allow people to treat me badly out of some sick desire on my part to pay for my own sins? All of these are habits that issue from our sinful tendencies to avoid the truth and run from responsibility. Yet, as Christians we (supposedly) believe that “in Christ” we are new creations. So how about we act like it?
Establish a habit of looking at your life, naming what you see, and taking the next good step. There’s no point in growing old if you don’t grow up.
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Before I get into this weeks theme.
Vinita,
I really want to say how much I enjoyed reading “Just Call Me Lopez”
My sincere thanks to ALL who made this possible.
Breda
Vinita,
Thanks so much for this post. I really look forward to remaining ones on this topic/theme.
I have a mid-40s son who is undergoing addiction rehab, and one of the things he needs to do is just this. I am happy to say that at his facility, this is one thing they are required to do, self-examination, then critiquing what they see in terms of how they contributed to their own demise by using drugs, alcohol, meds, meth, crack, whatever, to hide from their own reality. He has been there for four weeks now and has made great strides, but this self exam is where he has made the most. He had a fit of severe anger the other day, and whereas he would have acted out that anger (on someone else, of course, then himself), he watched it play out without reacting to it. He discovered that his reactive self is the one that needs repair, because that really good self does not. He acknowledged for the first time in his life that his own behavior, not the outside world, is what is killing him spiritually, mentally, morally, socially, in every way. I plan on forwarding your posts to him as he really needs to see this.
Once again, you have enlightened me, and I thank you so much for it.
Regards, and God’s love on you, Helen
Helen, I’m so sorry that your son–and you–have to take this difficult journey. But also encouraged that he is learning the power of reflection and that you have some inspiration to hope. Peace and grace to you both–Vinita
I’ve been leafing through your “The Soul Tells a Story” for close to 2 years. It’s so rich! Happy I found this site, your blog, etc. You are such a blessing!