It wouldn’t be surprising to learn that St. Ignatius was a passionate man; he was a Spaniard, after all! And by his own admission, he did his share of romancing—or, at least a lot of time chasing after love and folly, back when he was a young man.
I remember those awkward, longing teenage years, when I was first learning to desire love and romance and the good-looking guys who seemed to promise both. Difficult times for an introvert, especially one who was not particularly striking to look at. After years of hoping and having my hopes dashed, I tried mightily to discount all that passion stuff. Surely, it didn’t lead to much spiritual advancement. A person filled with passion didn’t have much room for anything else—such as good works, high grades, and a future. And, really, if passion was not finding its object, then shouldn’t I just put it away somewhere and cultivate my mind and spiritual faculties?
Ignatius had to give up passion when he was wounded and going through months of recuperation. Then, when he converted to a life dedicated to God, I think he was inclined to put his passion away. He had to get down to business now—furthering the cause of Jesus Christ! There would be no lovely lady in his life; this was determined when he took his vows as a priest. Why attend to any of that old passion?
But love is love, and passion is passion. And Ignatius found himself in a relationship with God that stirred up more love and passion than he’d ever known before. In fact, I believe this saint—as well as many others, especially the great mystics—came to understand that, when we are our truest selves, we cannot avoid the welling up of pure passion in our lives. We are created to be passionate—to feel deeply, to work wholeheartedly, and to love with great energy. And when we have nurtured that passion within the home of relationship—relationship with God, with creation, and with all our brothers and sisters—our passion becomes a means of great redemption and healing in the world.
My initial teenage dreams of love and romance were never realized—because they were formed, not from reality, but from stereotypes, Hollywood fictions, and selfish motives on my part. I wanted to be loved! To be the #1 person in someone’s life! To be adored and attended to constantly. I now dwell in a marriage of 21 years that is wonderful and faulty and always changing. It is real, every day, and I’m very grateful for it.
But my passion—the fire at the heart of my soul—has found expression in so many ways beyond my marriage. And I trust it will keep finding outlets—places to spark and people to warm and visions to make real.
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
You know, Vinita, I could so relate to your story. I was a dream girl too. I found a soul mate eventually, and we’re still here after 52 years. But my passion(s) never left me. I believed, and still do, that to proceed with a matter of fact attitude doesn’t help me accomplish much. So I renewed my external passions, and found that my relationship with God is something very passionate, a true gift of His love for me. My closeness to Him can never be reached with my husband, family, church, etc. But my closeness to Him has increased my temporal closeness with others. I can see Him in more people, places, and things, because i am passionate about His creation. And I am closer to myself. I am a soul enclosed in a body, and the two are becoming more one than before. What a gift I have been given, and I try to give it to others. Like you, I am finding other outlets for this passionate love of God. I am one of the people you have warmed, and it gives me courage to try to warm others. Thanks for that.
Thanks for that lovely testimony about how this passion thing works itself out when we are open and attentive. Peace–Vinita
Oh, Vinita! What a beautiful and thought provoking post. And I agree wholeheartedly with Helen, although I’m not as eloquent as she. I do feel a “passion” for God and loving others in my life, exactly as you both describe it. I live for it and dream about ways to satisfy it. I’m not sure I’m channeling it all fully, but look for ways to do so daily. I am a long-time reader of your blog, (although I’m usually silent} and can’t thank you enough for all you (and St. Ignatius, and all of you in the Loyala Press Ministry) have given me to think about….everyday. My life is fuller because of all of you. I am also a reader of the writings of a wonderful Passionist priest, Fr. Cedric Pisenga, whose motto is to “live with Passion.” What could be better???
I have always heard from priests that one shouldn’t have any passion at all. I can not understand the reason why passion would be against Christianity. I think passion is something that is closely connected with human nature. It’s impossible for me to imagine myself pursuing my activities without passion. Living life with devotion and self-giving, that is what passion means for me.
Thank you, Vinita, for this post, because I see in it a confirmation of my life principle.
God bless you.
Too often we have allowed “passion” to stand in for “sexuality” or “ego” or “anger.” And yet, the Christian story has, for centuries, used “passion” to describe the love-motivated suffering of Jesus. Passion is part of our God-given nature, and like anything else, it can be misdirected, neglected, abused, and perverted. We are responsible for recognizing our deepest passion–which indeed reflects God because we are created in God’s image–and then, with much love and discernment, living out that passion. Thanks for posting–Vinita
Thank you, Vinita, for your thoughts about passion. It’s good to see passion as a part of the conversation about our spirituality and our daily lives and daily work. (Good that you have defined passion apart from the old idea of a narrow, commercial view of passion.) I imagine most saints had great passions, but we may not always know about their passions. I am just now celebrating 40 years with my spouse, a soul mate who shares many of the same passions. We are blessed to share these passions — teaching, ministry to our most vulnerable & marginalized (homeless, women, immigrants, children) and we are blessed to have passionate loving models we can read and talk about together (Dorothy Day, Oscar Romero, and holy persons from other faiths) who have been persecuted for their passion to serve, but whose lives remain our bread of life. Gracias!